Everyone always says, “Relationships are so hard!” But that’s not true. It’s not relationships that are difficult, rather, it’s the people involved in the relationships that MAKE them challenging.
In other words, you can make your relationship better by doing two things:
Requiring more of yourself
Requiring more from your partner
You see, a lot of people are lazy. They think that relationships should just magically run like a well-oiled machine. But that doesn’t happen in real life.
Relationships take effort, and they can be healthy and happy if you know what to do. No one has a magic wand to hand you that will turn your relationship into a fairy tale. But if you follow these tips, you will be pleasantly surprised on how happy you become.
Here is another ten relationship advice for women so you can use every day to make that happen:
1. Demand respect.
When I say “demand,” I don’t mean stomping your foot down and demanding in in a diva kind of way. What I mean is that you need to believe that you deserve to be treated with respect at all times – everyone does.
But here’s the kicker – in order to get respect, you need to give respect. So, by being respectful, you are setting the scene for nothing but kind treatment in return.
2. Strive for equal effort.
People always say, “relationships should be 50-50.” That’s wrong.
They should be 100-100. BOTH people need to put in 100% effort every day to keep the relationship strong.
It can’t be 100-20, 100-50, or even 100-99. It has to be equal.
If it gets out of balance, you need to have a conversation about that so you can get back on track.
3. Talk about gender roles.
Over the last few decades, gender roles have become blurred. Gone are the days when everyone automatically expects the man to be the bread winner and the woman to stay home and raise the kids.
These days, conversations need to be had about each person’s expectations within the relationship regarding gender roles.
4. Be a good listener.
Usually, we think women are good listeners and men are bad listeners. This isn’t true.
Men and women just listen differently. Women listen to connect with another person, and men listen to solve a problem.
But we all deserve to have someone listen to us. So, don’t forget that your partner needs that too.
5. Show empathy.
Relationships should not be “me vs. you.” It should be “us” as a team. You can’t constantly be only considering your own perspective about anything.
You may or may not be right, but perception is reality. If your partner sees it differently, try to understand. Show him empathy, and then most likely he’ll show it to you in return.
6. Be accepting of differences.
No one is 100% alike. Even identical twins aren’t exactly the same.
If you have too many expectations of his behavior that are being violated, maybe you should just accept the differences.
And if there are too many differences that you can’t tolerate, then maybe he’s not the person for you.
Oh, and don’t forget, he should accept your differences too.
7. Don’t settle.
There are way too many people in the world who fear being alone. It’s probably because they don’t love themselves enough to hold out for what they deserve. Instead, they settle for “Mr. Good Enough for Now.” And then they find themselves miserable in a short amount of time.
Hold out for “Mr. Right” because you will never find “Mr. Perfect,” but you shouldn’t settle either.
8. Don’t try to change him.
Women are notorious for trying to change their man. They think things like, “If I can get him to lose 30 pounds, then he’ll be more attractive.” Or “If I can just get him to stop playing video games, I’ll be happy.” Or “Once we get married, he’ll change for the better.”
Take this important piece of advice – if you don’t like how his is RIGHT NOW, without any changes, then you shouldn’t be with him. Period. Because you can’t really change him anyway. It just won’t work.
9. Teach him how to treat you.
The behavior you allow from another person is the behavior that will persist.
So, for instance, if early in the relationship he starts yelling at you when he’s angry, you need to correct him by gently saying, “I don’t’ appreciate you yelling at me. I deserve to be spoken to with respect. So, until you do that, I won’t engage in this conversation.”
If you don’t, it’ll only get worse.
10. Become the person you want to attract.
If you don’t love and respect yourself, then you’ll attract someone else who won’t love and respect you either. It all starts with self-love.
You can’t metaphorically beat up on yourself and expect others to treat you like a queen. Trust me, people pick up on this stuff.
Once you love and respect yourself, then you will get the kind of relationship that you want.
